Seems a little odd...

k1907 Posted: Apr 22, 2019 10:47 PM

Seems a little odd...

At my final walkthrough, my venue recommended we give a 15-20% gratuity of our total bill in cash a few days PRIOR to our wedding date so they can "distribute it to the wait staff and for us not to worry about envelopes the day of."

Here are my concerns:

- 15% gratuity will be close to $4,000
- I have a wedding planner handling pretty much everything
- There are 12 waiters working that day, maybe a couple bartenders, one bridal attendant and a maitre d.

Can someone please tell me, is this a normal request? I understand tipping is standard but at what cost? And why ahead of time?

How are all you brides handling the tipping process? This seems a bit excessive...

gb626 Posted: Apr 23, 2019 12:07 PM

RE:Seems a little odd...

Our venue recommended $3-$5 per guest as a tip for the maitre d, which he would then split amongst the wait/bar staff, and an addition $100-$150 for the bridal attendant. That was around 5% of our venue bill, and we thought that was reasonable (our maitre d and bridal attendant were AMAZING on the day of...) However, we gave all of our tips out the day of, to the individuals, with sincere thanks. For what it's worth, I wouldn't have been comfortable handing in an envelope of cash to the venue before the event. But maybe that's just me....

k1907 Posted: Jun 03, 2019 07:01 PM

RE:Seems a little odd...

Thank you for your response. It was very helpful. I’d love to hear from other brides too... how are you handling the tipping process?

luna123456 Posted: Nov 07, 2025 04:22 AM

RE:Seems a little odd...

It’s normal to tip 15–20% of the total bill, but handing $4,000 in cash days before the wedding is unusual. Many couples give envelopes to the planner or coordinator to distribute on the day instead—keeps it safer and simpler.