Featured Question
Question: I have to ask, do you need to have an engagement party? I feel like they only became popular again recently, and I'm freaking out about another event to plan and pay for! Who usually plans and pays for an engagement party, if you NEED to have one?
Answer: In general, engagement parties are a great opportunity for freshly engaged couples. It gives both of your families that chance to come together (possibly for the first time) and celebrate the joining of the two clans, as well as to welcome the fiance to the family. As for planning and paying, in general it has always been tradition for the parents of the bride to plan and pay for the engagement party. Today just about anyone can take on the responsibility. (As the bride, though, this is one responsibility that should not fall onto your plate.)
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and he fully supports/is okay with the rehearsal dinner and reception to being vegan (which is my belief system). But his mother is going nonstop about how guests aren't going to be happy about it. She is trying to take control out of my hands when it comes to the food. How can I keep our relations okay while still standing up for my beliefs?
Answer: It's hard to plan a wedding with multiple belief systems in place. It's wonderful that your fiance is allowing you complete control over both family meals, but your best bet is probably to give up planning the rehearsal dinner, as a compromise. Being that rehearsal dinners are traditionally planned by the groom's family, anyway, you handing over the reigns to your future mother-in-law for that would be a normal thing to do, and may save you a lot of battling. As for the wedding, stick to your guns as it is your special day. Just make sure that you have amazing, high quality vegan cuisine that your guests will love (and may not even KNOW is vegan), and then no one will have any room to complain!
My future husband and I are having a disagreement. I'm considering enlisting the help of a couple bridesmaids to help us write out our thank you card. I'm so overwhelmed and can't imaged being able to get them completed on my own. His mom and him say no way - they think we should take care of them ourselves, or it’s not genuine. What should we do? I can’t imagine tackling this daunting task. Is it impolite to have others write cards for us?? Help!
Answer: It's more than understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed at the thought of filling out all of your thank you cards, especially before your big day has even happened! You're still in the middle of planning and prepping to make sure that your special day goes off without a hitch! I do agree, however, that it is very important to fill out your thank you cards yourselves (both you and your husband-to-be) for them to be genuine and heart felt. Your thank you cards are going out to the people that love and care about you, and who chose to help you celebrate this important milestone in your life! Instead of getting help writing out your thank you’s, your best bet is to tackle them head on: don't wait until last minutes and don't let them overwhelm you! Write them out as you go and get them out ASAP. That way you can remember each guest and gift to send them an appropriate, personalized thank you card, and you also don't need to worry about writing out 100+ thank you cards all at once and on a deadline!
Our wedding is a little less than 6 months away and I can't help but be nervous! Any suggestions on how to calm the 'cold feet' syndrome?
Answer: Absolutely! There are a lot of ways to help you deal with that pre-wedding stress that we call 'Cold Feet.' First, and possibly most importantly, is to make sure that we acknowledge how completely normal the feeling is, and that it likely has NOTHING to do with second thoughts, but only stress in general. Next is to make sure to make a list of all the fears that may be running around in your mind, causing the stress. If they seem silly on paper, that may end the stress. If they're not, then come up with strategies to help cope. Once that is complete, it's time to delegate some quality, wedding-free time to help you unwind!
I am exploring the idea of having my wedding 12/31/2012, any thoughts? Will this be a hard date to find an available venue? More or less expensive than the traditional weekend wedding?
Thanks!
Answer: When finding a wedding venue on a holiday, or special calendar day, you have the odds stacked both against you and for you. Believe it or not, some holidays are going to be very lite on weddings, due to guest/family conflicts. This may help you find a location on those days more readily available. On the flip side, however, many reception locations will hold their own holiday galas on those same nights. With a little luck, and a little research, there shouldn't be anything between you and your dream wedding!
Where my reception is being held I am the only bride that day and am using the entire facility. I have a guest list of two hundred. How many bars should be open and how many bartenders should be used when there are three bars?
Answer: Usually venues will require at least 1 bartender per 75 to 100 guests. Once you include mixed drinks at an open bar into the mix (no pun intended!) you will want to have at least 1 bartender extra! With the resources that are available at your venue, to be on the safe side, 2 bars with 2 bartenders each would ensure that none of your guests are left waiting in long lines at your wedding!
I have 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen, total of 4 parents and were getting married at a church and having a reception at a hall with 20 tables, which means 20 centerpieces. What would be a good floral budget??
Answer: The price of a centerpiece is always going to depend on multiple factors; the materials used, the intricacy of the pieces, etc.
Bouquets have to be taken into account the same way, and can be in the same, if not more, price range as your centerpieces. Most florists and floral designers can help you work within a budget that you set for yourself, and help you plan out the best centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages with that budget.
To ensure that you have enough of a budget to cover all of your flowers figure at least $20 per boutonniere and corsage. Allow at least $50 per bouquet, and $50-$100 per centerpiece. A safe(ish) budget for your wedding would be no less than $2,570.
I have two family members in the clergy (of the Catholic Church). I definitely would like to be married in the Catholic faith; however, I would love the ceremony that is attended by all of my guests to be on a beach. Additionally, my ideal wedding venues are too far from my home Parish. I don't want to offend my family as I am sure they will be upset by this decision. Is there a way to make this work? Can the rehearsal be held in the Church and be an actual wedding?
Answer: Coming from a very similar background, and having a very similar issue, I can see where your worry stems from. Ultimately, though, you need to remember that your wedding is exactly that, yours. If you are worried about guests not attending your wedding if it is in a Catholic church and they aren't catholic; don't worry. Non-denominational guests are always welcome in the church to partake in your ceremony, or any other mass for that matter. They just cannot receive communion.
If you heart is set on a ceremony outside of the church, however, why not see if your own priest, or another local clergyman, is willing to hold the ceremony on the beach. There are some churches who hold masses regularly on adjacent beaches.
Your ceremony is about the religious rite and commitment to your betrothed, not the building in which it is held.
My fiance has a daughter that by the wedding she will be 9 yrs. old. How old is too old for a flower girl? And how can we include her in the wedding cermony?
Answer: While “hardcore” rules for who can and can’t be in your bridal party are becoming more a matter of personal preference rather than steadfast “principles”. But, when it comes to flower girls, there do seem to be some “rules to live” by, mostly dealing with age.
Ideally flower girls should be old enough to handle the responsibility without being old enough to be part of the main bridal party. According to experts they should be between four and eight years old, although some “sophisticated” tots of two or three can be just as “professional”, especially with the help of a parent or an older sibling. If the young lady in question is older than 8 (especially if she is 10 or older) you may want to reconsider her for a different position, such as junior bridesmaid, and if she’s a teen, she can even be part of the main bridal party. Either way, she should wear a similar style of dress to the other bridal party members (only more subdues to suit her age) and within the same color family. Also, whether she’s part of the party or a junior bridesmaid, she is expected to walk down the aisle in the procession and stand at the alter along with the other attendants.
My nephew is having an engagement party tonight, do I need to take a gift. I'm not sure?????
Answer: While there is no written rule stipulating that you MUST bring a gift, it is commonly understood and often expected that an engagement gift is offered or presented, especially if the couple and their families are hosting a special party to commemmorate the occasion.
Some couples have an engagement registry which is usually annoted on the invite. Others look forward to common essentials such as flatware, linens, etc.
To be on the safe side however, many simply opt for a gift certificate or good old cash, and how much you give is generally based on what you can afford, where they are hosting the party, and how close you are to the couple in question.
With out of town guest, who is responsible to pay for the accomendations? Hotel or Motel
Answer: Customarily, it has generally been the guests responsibility to pay for overnight accommodations arranged by the couple.
Most couples seek out a reasonably priced hotel/motel local to the ceremony and reception location and also look to secure blocks of rooms at 'wedding package' rates (which tend to vary seasonally and based on the number of guests).
Information regarding hotel (phone number, addresss, directions and date by which reservations must be 'made'/confirmed are included with wedding invites.
Guests who plan to attend then personally call the hotel/motel persoanlly and confirm their name (to be checked off against a list the couple provides), number of persons (in the room), date of arrival and departure, etc., giving a credit card number as security and to go toward payment.
With that said, many experts feel that since many out of town guests are already extending themselves financially and otherwise, it is a very classy gesture (if financially afforadable, possible, and feasible) for the couple to pay for their stay or at least a portion of it, as well as securing a seperate hospitality suite replete with food and beverage upon their arrival and for some, even a morning after brunch, before sending them on their merry way.
Hi my fiance and i are trying to put together an outdoor wedding. Yet, We can not find any outdoor venues that will allow us to have music and serve mixed drinks. We would love to just pitch up tents and hire a band in a park somewhere but it seems impossible to find a place. Do you have any suggestions? We live in farmingdale and would like to find an area that is close.
Answer: When most of us think of an outdoor wedding we think of a seaside beach bash or a gala garden party, but few of us think about exchange vows in the park. Yet, some earth girls and guys are beginning to consider parks and arboretums as viable venues for their wedding.
According to experts, the best place to start is by selecting a location of your choice and immediately contacting your local parks and recreation department to see what the proper protocol is and if there’s a need to secure a special permit, authorizing you to use the park of your choice for your celebration.
Experts emphasize the importance of not only being specific about your intentions and plans but also about the amount of guests you will be inviting and anticipate attending, as well as how many people you plan on working the event. Remember to inquire about alcohol permits, rest room facilities and accessibility, and potential problems such as inclement weather, off-limit areas, restricted hours, other events, parking, etc.
Expect a fee for any permit you need to acquire and you may even have to pay a security deposit in case of an accident or unforeseen emergency.
My fiancé wants to take our formal pictures before our ceremony. I always thought that we shouldn't see each other until I walk down the aisle. I want to have more time at the reception, so taking the photos before is a good idea. But, I also was looking forward to the excitement of seeing each other for the first time as I walk down the aisle. Help! What should I do?
Answer: Yes, there is the tradition of not seeing each other (the day of the wedding) before the ceremony. And I share your excitement of seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle. Here's what happened with a friend of mine who just got married and had the same dilemma. She decided to take her formal portraits before the ceremony. Her reasoning was that everyone was just made up, the flower girl and ring bearer were wide awake and the atmosphere would be relaxed because there were no time restraints. Well, all went better than she imagined. Her fiancé picked her up in a limo (all to themselves) so they had some private time together. She said it was one of the best decisions she made. Instead of being so nervous and not remembering the ceremony she said that being relaxed has made it a lasting memory. So, you have tradition on the one hand and a relaxed and memorable wedding on the other. What will your decision be?
