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Seating arrangements, 'family situations', and other details

NIHA Posted:

Seating arrangements, 'family situations', and other details

For a smaller wedding (60 guests) has anyone seen mixing up guests so that our immediate families won't be sitting together? This came up b/c of 2 things: 1) This will be the only time that my FH and my family will probably all be together, so we want them to get to know one another 2) my sister already asked me NOT to put her at the same table as my step-sister. I know that this is unfair of her to ask, but I'd rather make everyone happy. So, I was considering keeping couples together, but breaking up families. I would probably seat both sets of our parents together, but all of our siblings would not be together (he has 5, I have 2), and may be mixed with aunts/uncles etc. Also, my few single friends would be seated together so they are not completely uncomfortable.

Also, is anyone having a kids table? If I do break up families, but keep couples together, this would be perfect. I'm considering this, since we have exactly 10 children, and the tables fit 10. They range from 4-12 yrs. It's at the Watermill, so I have to check if they allow this. I already checked with parents and they think it's a good idea. Any tips for a kids table? I do not want to hire a babysitter.

thanks in advance!

DianaL Posted:

Seating arrangements, 'family situations', and other details

Good question.
I was recently reading a Martha Stewart mag and her seating chart has 4 people from the bride's side, 4 from the groom's, and 2 mutual friends.

I figured people from work would all sit together, otherwise they would keep popping between tables. I may mix aunts and uncles from both families.

Is there any etiquette regarding this? Is it proper etiquette to sit both parents together?

As for children, I think I will sit them with their parents to avoid any problems. Most of the children are under 9.

TWEETY Posted:

Seating arrangements, 'family situations', and other details

I went to a wedding were at the kids table were age appropriate items like coloring book, simple word games, uno cards etc. to keep them active rather then having them run around.

yabbobay Posted:

Seating arrangements, 'family situations', and other details

I am sitting my parents with their siblings and spouses (my aunts and uncles) FMIL will sit with her son and DIL and children and siblings. My sister will sit with my cousins (we were all very close growing up)

At weddings I have been to. As a kid I sat at tables with my parents and at a kids table (to be truthful we had the best time away from our parents - but we were good kids and as I said all the cousins were very close there were 2 other kids we kind of excluded...

At a cousins wedding my sister and I sat at the 'singles' table...I hated it...then I got to hear all my relatives say 'when are you guys going to get married'...not to mention I had graduated college 1 month before and was 4 years younger than her!!...

I think you should sit people with people where they will be happy and have a good time...

LisaT Posted:

mixing the families...something to think about

A cousin of mine did this and it did not go over well. People were uncomfortable and unhappy that they weren't getting to sit with their family and people they know (since they don't get to see them that often).

I thought it sounded like a great idea -to get the families to know easch other, but in our reality, it didn't work. My mother still uses it as the example not to follow. So much for Martha Stewart ;-)

I think a kids table is a good idea (we don't have enough kids for one), but I am definitely avoiding the singles table. They'll be mixed in with couples they know.

michele31 Posted:

Seating arrangements, 'family situations', and other details

I would do 'open' seating, and not do assigned seats. That way no one has to sit together if they don't want to.
And then don't worry about it anymore. This is your special day, not theirs.

DianaL Posted:

LisaT

Thank YOU! I had started doing a mock seating arrangement before I read Martha Stewart's mag, and I think people would prefer to sit with people they know. I have a bunch of people who do not know a lot (or any) of the other guests, and I am seating them by profession or interest in common.

NIHA Posted:

mixing the families...something to think about

So if I don't mix families, what do I do about my sister who requested not to be seated at the same table as my step-sister? My father is married to her mother and my mother is deceased.

michele31 Posted:

mixing the families...something to think about

My advise- talk to your sister. This is your wedding. It is unfair for your stepsister to sit at another table. You could put your sister with cousins or Aunts/Uncles that she is close to. But I think just speaking to her and asking her to please put aside differences for 5 hours should be enough to help the situation.

Stef28 Posted:

Kids Table

Give the kids some coloring books, crayons. Maybe some play do -- things to keep them occupied -- but also not mess up anything like people's dresses. So crayons would be fairly safe. But I would also see if you can find someone to keep an eye on them at the wedding -- just in case.

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