Frustrated!!!

Frustrated!!!

Is anyone as frustrated as I am about the prices per person for a wedding reception?

I mean some of the places we went to are NICE but the $$ they want is crazy. Its a five hour party!! Why is it so expensive?!?!?! I guess it would be different if our parents were footing the bill, no even then, I think we'd prefer the money in the bank for our future!! I'm sorry, I am just venting..I feel like we have to settle for something less than what we want because we refuse to spend $10K on just our reception. And we've even asked some places - well whats the cheapest date you have available?, then they look at you differently..like you are cheap...It's not that we are trying to be cheap...just not spend all of our savings!! Thanks for listening!!

Frustrated!!!

You are so right! I am frustrated because all this wedding nonsense is such a scam, and I said I wouldn`t get sucked into spending all this $$ for one night!!! and yet, I seem to have no choice. That`s the kicker- you really have very few options. We`re doing a backyard reception thinking it would be cheaper, but its turning out more expensive. At least it will be more memorable! Hang in there, and try NOT to think of the ways you COULD be spending that money!

Frustrated!!! Start with a Budget and work from there

Believe me I hear you loud and clear. After all how much can most people really eat and drink.

When we started planning we found it helpful to look at the entire $$ picture and talk about what we were comfortable spending in total. Then we started to list the things we wanted most and worked from there.

For example starting out we wanted a Sat night in Sept. We wanted a Band and Great Photos and Video. When we priced out everyting it was more than we were comfortable with so we moved to a Friday night in Sept. rather than give up the Band for a DJ.

It takes time, but the planning and research are worth it.
Good Luck

I totally hear you!

Im trying to find someplace acceptable with a budget of $15K and am having no luck!

I totally understand how you feel

We put off our wedding for a couple of years because we just felt there were other financial obligations that took priority over a wedding reception, which we knew would be an excessive amount of money. I mean, we always knew we were going to get married, there was no question about that. But he went to graduate school for his masters, and we took advantage of the lowered mortgage rates a couple of years ago, buying our house.

Sure, we could have gotten married for a lot less than we did end up spending, but we did spend wisely. No matter how much you spend, you can always look at it as the money could be going to something else. You need to set a fair estimate on what you`ll be comfortable spending, and knowing it will be a significant sum of money. But, this is your wedding.

If I were to sit down, and add it all up and see just how much we did actually spend, even though I know we were careful, I would probably be upset, because I did feel the same as you and I`m always trying to save for the 'what ifs' in life. But, there isn't much I'd change about our wedding day.

The best thing to do, is make sure the place you book gives you a lot for your money. We had our reception at John Anthony`s and I know we got a lot for what we paid .. the cocktail hour alone was incredible! If a place is making you feel uncomfortable when you tell them your needs, look elsewhere for the place that will be happy to have your business.

Hang in there .. the right place is out there for you.

There is hope (bit long)

...

Here`s what I`m doing (really long)

I can`t agree more with all of you. You get sucked into it, and people make you feel like you have to spend so much money for the most important day of your life. I feel like as soon as I mention 'wedding' the prices go up 10x. I also told myself that we would keep it simple. Originally it was backyard wedding, and same thing happened: we found out it would cost just as much renting everything and be more work.
Now, we are only having 60 people max. Originally I thought our wedding day could cost $5000. But, once we saw the Watermill and they offered us $55pp + tax/tip in June, on a Sat afternoon, both me and my FH couldn`t give up what we think is a great deal (we just booked it 3 weeks ago, so they gave us a discount, FYI it`s $45pp + tax/tip in January and the cake is included). Now, hopefully our budget including all vendors will only be $6000. I only have a photographer for 3 hours (family is taking the rest of pictures and no video), no albums (as of yet) have only 6 tables (so only 6 centerpieces), my flowers will be a few roses, calla lillies or tulips tied with a pretty ribbon, no bridal party (except for 2 flower girls), no limos, and the reception is in the same place (flowers and chapel for $300). My sister is buying my dress as a gift, but even that at Jessica Mcclintock was cheap and beautiful! The officiant is $300 and my invitations, respond cards and thank yous are only $75 total (I was very practical with this). And, we found a good DJ for only $650. Right now I am trying figure out if it is worth it to pay someone $50 for a trial makeover and 125 on the day of my wedding plus the cost of my hair.
We are paying for this ourselves too and only can pray that we make $$ back so that we can have the honeymoon we want (probably 6 months or 1 year after!)
This is what we are facing, b/c we have a short engagement, and obviously want a nice wedding. I didn`t want to have it at a restaurant after having a civil service, or elope on an island, like some people suggested. But, just remember always be happy with what you have, the simpler the better (and personally, more classy and elegant), prioritize, and don`t forget to enjoy your day.

Ideas

I think the number one way to keep costs down is to cut the guest list down. You could have a nice dinner at a restaurant that does catering and perhaps has a dance floor without needing much space. Then the prices would probably be a bit more reasonable. Just have dinner and no cocktail hour. Or do an hors'de vours reception. I think a nice dinner would be very elegant with an intimate number of people to share you day with.

But I agree it's very hard to have everything you want and stay in budget. As I got closer to my wedding I realized many things I wanted were over the top or wouldn't be missed and just said forget about it.

Another suggestion to save money (long)

We decided to not use flowers as
centerpieces. (Our florist is only
costing $800!) Our favors are home
made wine, so we decided to buy
galvanized buckets from Home Depot
for $6 each and decorate them ourselves.
Ribbons, stencil, etc. We are going to
put the wine bottles in the buckets for
the centerpieces. Try to use your favors
as the centerpieces. Candles,
chocolates, etc. Lisa

Favor suggestion to save money

My fiancee's parents recently went to a wedding where the waitstaff took away the centerpieces after dinner, took them in the back, broke them down and wrapped a few stems in tissue paper. Then a packet of flowers were given to each couple as they left.

Plus, the bride was able to return the vases from the centerpieces to the florist, and she got some money back.

Flowers divided up??

Did the reception hall do that or did the florist? I have heard of this before but didn't know who to ask. Also what reception hall was it?
Thanks

what we have decided to do

Like everyone else has said it can indeed be a frustrating thing. We want our weddings to reflect who we are. I know it can definitley be frustrating when you hear some of the prices. One thing we have done is not to include things that does not mean anything to us, we are not doing it just b/c it was always done. Prioritize your list by what's improtant to you and your FI. Photos, video, etc. No open bar. DJ instead of a band etc.

What we are doing to minimize cost

1) Making our own favors
2) No RD at a restaurant, we are having a backyard BBQ
3) No flower girl
4) No ring bearer
5) Cut guestlist
6) No parent's album, they are getting each 1 8x10, really when are they going to look at the albums after the first time
7) If you get your negatives you can make your own thank yous

THere are a million other ways. Check out the knot, they have 100 ideas to cut cost

All the best with your planning

Flowers divided up??

I'm not sure who did this for them. I know the wedding was at a temple in Oceanside. I'll call my MIL later tonight and ask her to try and find out more about this.

Flowers divided up??

i have been to that temple for a wedding. the caterer takes the flowers apart and wraps them for you.i don't think there are any florists who do this although i guess if you paid them enough they would.

Flowers divided up...Thanks Brit03 *NM*

Frustrated!!!

You are absolutely right. When we started planning our wedding we realized that if we want to have something nice it is going to cost us a fortune. We continued to look until we found something that was within our price range, and we found something. Don't be discouraged and don't give up. You will find something that suits your needs. Good Luck.

One more thought

Do NOT go into debt to have a wedding reception. You don't want to start your life together in the hole. And no matter what anyone says, you probably won't 'make' money on the wedding. You MAY be able to get the cost the equivalent of the recpetion, but it's not the norm. I've heard of people taking our $$ from credit card checks to pay vendors days before the wedding and 'paying it back' w/ the money they made from the wedding. What if you don't make enough? Then you pay 20% interest...

Prioritize and you'll be abl to stay within budget.

I don't like the way that sounds

Why would one be having a reception to 'make money back'. Don't spend money that you don't have, expecting to get it back in gifts. Wheteher or not someone gives a gift, the day is about celebrating the love of 2 people and the joining together of two families. Please don't set yourselves up for disappointment. People give gifts out of courtesy not because they have to. This is just my opinion.

It may make one seems shallow if people think we are having a nice reception and inviting a lot of guest in hopes of 'making our money back' If this is the case then don't have the reception at all.

Thanks

Thanks to all who responded for ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!

We REFUSE to look at it from the side of 'Well, we'll make money back'..we don't care about making money - thats not what its about. We just want to be able to celebrate with our families..thats all.

And we don't want to have to go broke to do it. We would never take out a loan or go into credit card debt to do it. Whatever we decide to do will be paid for in cash.

I'll keep searching...

Good for you

You'd be surprised how many people spend what they don't have.

I hope no one was offended, but I've seen plenty of posts about how much they'll 'make' from the wedding. I come from a place where most people don't give $$ as gift, so it' seemed absurd to me that people were counting on things they didn't have...