I recentally got engaged and we wanted to have an engagement party. I wanted to know if it was proper to throw your own engagement party or if my parents should throw it. Please be honest. Thanks so much!
Well first - Congratulations!
I think if you want to throw your own engagement party you should. I know many couples who have done that.
My parents gave my engagement party, but had they not, I would have given my own. I guess it depends on if your parents are going to throw you one!
Good luck!
Congratulations on your engagement!
However, I will caution that it is in very poor taste to throw your own engagement party. I know a lot of brides who do this anyway, but it is not proper.
According to Emily Post, it is the bride's family (or other family member or close friend) that throws an engagement party for the couple. However, if the brides family does not host a celebration, the groom's family then has the option of throwing the party in the couple's honor.
Also, regarding gifts:
Traditionally, engagement gifts are offered only to the bride and only by very close friends and family. Even then, they're often mailed to the bride's or the host's home or given to her during a personal visit. The reasoning behind this protocol is that since only her closest friends and family bring gifts, other guests who don't fall into either category might feel uncomfortable or left out when friends arrive with gifts in hand.
This is your decision either way, but since you asked what is proper, I offer Emily Post's etiquette.
Good luck!
My father's family (my Aunts and Uncles) sort of insisted on us having one, as a way to meet my FH's family. They thought it was not fair that they not So, my stepmom and Dad are helping us pay for the party but Scott and I are hosting it. Since my Mom is not really paying for it but she and her family are coming I thought it would make her very uncomfortable if my dad and his wife sent her and her family the invites, and were considered the hosts.
But I agree with Claud2001 (who is a close friend and sent my a beautiful e-gift) that gifts are not required. I am not opening any gifts at the party.
Honestly, I don't think its proper to throw your own. It looks like an attemept to collect $$$$ (even if this is not your intention). Even though most guests will not be 'required' to bring a gift - most will if you throw the party.
If you really want one, you can still throw a party - just don't call it an engagement party. And don't accept gifts.
Congrats on your engagement!
I am in a similar predicament. My family lives in LI and my FH`s family is scattered. I want to have some kind of party so that the families can meet.
I have heard (and if you read the previous posts, so have you!) that couples shouldn`t throw engagement parties and that they appear to be a greedy way of asking for gifts.
Our families are going to meet this summer. We aren`t going to throw a big, rent-a-hall party, probably just a barbeque at an as yet undetermined home of a relative! At first I thought that I would hold off on registering until after the party to eliminate any appearance of greediness. Also, because one of my sisters (and MOH) went ballistic when I mentioned the words `engagement party.` But I am afraid of what some of my family might buy me without some guidance, so I will register. It will be small though. Probably just family and bridal party.
You should do what makes you comfortable. I went to an engagement party thrown by the couple that was wonderful, and no one mentioned any impropriety. Screw Emily Post, you only get to do this once!
Becky
I wasn`t going to have an engagement party at first. I thought that might be too much for everyone. An engagemet party, then bridal shower, then the wedding. Seems like alot. My aunt and uncle even offered to throw us a party at their house, which is pretty big. I think we will have a little party.People are even asking if I`m registered yet, which I`m not. A friend told me that she wasn`t registered for her engagement party, and she recieved gifts that she would never use. If you do plan on having a party, I think you should register first.
Me and my FI threw our own engagement party in April because that was what his parents suggested. We paid for it ourselves and hosted it too. We just wanted our families to come and meet each other and also our friends. I feel that at Bridal showers, rehearsal dinners and Bachelorette parties you are not able to get everyone together in a room, not until the wedding date. So I feel that our engagement party was a must for us. We did pay for the party ourselves but noone talked bad about it. All they asked is 'Where are you registered?'. We didn't register until a month before the engagement party because we didn't entend for people to bring gifts. But since everyone asked, we did it last minute.
My parents hosted ours...but I just wanted to comment on the gift part...
my mother insisted that I open her sister's and brothers' gifts...well then everyone wanted me to open theirs and it was like a bridal shower and very unconfortable...there were many friends that didn't bring things...(it was an outside party and I opened them in the living room)
