FH and I were conversing and I have decided not to take his last name and he is very disappointed. I am in the process of establishing my career and my last name is my identity. I don't want to lose sight of who I am. My last name has always been very important to me, I don't want to lose my heritage. Any thoughts?
Last names will always be a touchy subject and a big step. Especially if you guys have spoken about having children. If you guys have separate names will the kids as well? In my case I've decided to take my FH name. It's something we spoke about and he respects what I feel comfortable with. But that's just us. We have a four year old and by default most people refer to me as a 'mrs' anyway. I'm still nervous though. In a good way of course. But ultimately it is a change. I've had my name my whole life. but this is a new chapter in my life and im so excited. My heritage and who am I wont change. I am Hispanic and even with a new last name I will still speak Spanish and cook rice and beans and dance salsa Lololol. You know. My FH very Italian name won't make me different within. I Can see your point of view and his as well. It's like we (women) become a 'different person' on paper. I don't think it has to be that way though. Personally I think Your identity goes beyond just your name. It has to be and feel natural to you above all. And because I feel that way thats why I've decided to change my name. Im sure your FH will come around to the idea of being more liberal. And you guys will make it work for you. Best of luck.
You're so right. I love the idea of all us having the same last name. I guess the fact I'm in an interracial relationship makes me feel like I would be denying my heritage. I'm going to think about some more because I'm starting a new chapter in my life but I'm still the same Person. I might just hyphenate his name.
It's a big step and its definitely worth talking about. Weighing the options and stuff. I'm sure you guys will figure out what works best. This is an exciting time for the both of you. There are no rules at least not anymore about name changing. It's really up to the couple and their style. That's just my opinion. And yup! There you go, hyphenating your name is a great compromise.
Have you thought about keeping your professional name your maiden name and all legal documents to your new last name? I know a few ladies that work here who stick with their maiden name at work because it's much easier for them. One girl, who is Spanish and speaks to lots of Spanish clients, kept her last name because it was Spanish; her husband's last name is Greek.
I had a boss in the same position as well but due to professional reasons, she decided to hyphenate her last name. Maybe that could be something to consider but I think that when you go into a marriage and the two become one, it is just a mutual agreement and understanding that the last name will change. Best of luck.
Have you thought about hyphenating your name? Or keep your maiden name for your professional life and use his last name for personal.
I am struggling with this as well. My parents are gone and I don't have a brother to carry on the name. Our last names don't flow together nicely, so hyphenating is not an option. My fiance says it's up to me but I know he would love for us to have the same name. I've decided to keep my name for now, and maybe later I will change it. I feel if I change it immediately, it will actually be traumatizing; that's how strongly I feel about it. It makes me very sad.
