Spinoff: Wedding Gift Question

What's the etiquette for bringing up to non-gifters that there was no card/gift from that person? Do you mention something?

I am not surprised but I'm kinda hurt that some people (mostly our 'young' friends who've never been to weddings) did not give cards, let alone gifts.

I wouldn't recommend this - but I stopped being friends with one person that didn't even acknowledge it was our wedding day. We've done a lot for her and been there for them, but on this day it was as if she went to take a walk in the park. She came to the ceremony and left right after, not even a congratulations card.

I don't think there's a good way of bringing it up, without making it ackward.

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

What if they've said 'I left your card/gift at home, I'll send it to you.'

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I've found this to just be an excuse that people give when they haven't yet put together the card. I've heard the same with other people.

For me, I don't know if it's worth it to go after them - I would just make a mental note for the future.

It's sooo hard...I luckily got only 1 non-gifter (I believe) after all is said and done, and MIL is super annoyed by it. She may or may not say something...if it's gonna cause her a hassle I'm not sure I want her to...but it is pretty redic...

If it were any of our friends, that would be tough. I guess it would depend on the friendship? I'm not really good in these situations though...I'd prob say nothing, but be super annoyed. That stinks...I know it's not about the money, it's the thought behind it...sorry that happened to you!!

We got a few 'I forgot it at home' and they all really did and either mailed it to us or got it to us somehow.
FH's first cousin didn't give us a gift, and she happened to get married 3 weeks after us and we gave her a gift because we didn't know what else to do! ugh. We didn't say anything and we never will.

One of DH's friends and his wife non-gifted us (and had also 'forgotten' to pay us for tix to a show that we all went to a few months before). He had been avoiding DH for a while, even before the wedding. He called DH last week and said he was going through a rough time (job loss, etc.) DH brought it up and let him know he was disappointed - not so much in the non-gift, but more with the avoidance stuff. The friend actually came by a few days later and brought a check! I was shocked, but - and maybe now I'm being overly critical - just handed him a check, not in a card - that just seems kind of cold, more like a business transaction, but hey . . . I'll take it
I was pretty surprised that DH brought it up because he was the one to say just let it go. I'm not so good at that - I would probably be pretty b!tchy the next time I saw them, and might eventually say something in a 'passive-agressive' kind of way - which is not really good either. The only other thing I was thinking of doing was saying something like 'I think we might have lost your card' - but I don't know if I would have actually done it.

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

I think I've decided that I'm just going to send a thank you with no pic and say thank you for attending our special day and we're glad you were able to celebrate with our family and friends.

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i'm not saying this is ok at all...but i would not send one thing, thank you card, note, picture, nothing - to the people who did not give me anything. sorry

We got a few non-gifters...or no card/gift. It's just rude. One person I mentioned to DH mom since it was her friend...and the others I haven't even mentioned and will just remember for the future. Some said they left it and did send....and some I am still waiting for.

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Posted by Moonmist09

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

I think I've decided that I'm just going to send a thank you with no pic and say thank you for attending our special day and we're glad you were able to celebrate with our family and friends.

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i'm not saying this is ok at all...but i would not send one thing, thank you card, note, picture, nothing - to the people who did not give me anything. sorry

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i had a girl in my bridal party and my roommate at the time come to the wedding and not give a gift... for each of these girls i paid for one night in the hotel and for the BM my mom paid for her makeup as well.... i got no gift - not even a card from them... i was upset that there was no card to acknowledge the marriage but i didn't want to ruin the friendship over it because i am close to these girls so i ****** it up and just sent a card saying thanks for coming and helping us celebrate.

had it been other guests- i would not have sent a card

i got sort of lucky with this..in regards to my friends. My friends all gave me gifts and even those who could not make it sent us cards and gifts so for that i love them

some family members on the other hand...so came with no gifts, some came in shorts (thanks sister in law). some barely paid for their dinner, basically about 6 people in one family paid enough for a mcdonald meal......i havent spoken to most of them since. So i guess there is no right way to bring it up...