QOTD 4/17/03- WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT MARRIAGE?

DH and I did not live together before we got married. He lived on his own and I lived with my parents . All in all, I don't think the change was really stressful. If anything, it's much more fun to live together. Our living habits are pretty similar and we have a big enough place so that we can still have our 'alone' time.

I guess what I don't like about marriage is that I feel more responsibility now to keep in touch with the in-laws (which I am not too good at). And even though where we spend holidays is not a big deal to us, it is a big deal to our families so there's the added stress of where we will go.

splitting the holidays is very stressful

Suzanne, some young boy called me maam too

Oh Sue!!! Did you give him a nasty, dirty look??? I hope you did!

We lived together for 2 years and had a child together before we got married, so I defiantely think my 'hard times' are behind me.
The only things I don't like is paying more taxes and having to decide whose side of the family we will be going to for holidays - but even here we are lucky b/c one side usually goes to the other sides!

The never ending LAUNDRY!!!! My God, does it ever end.

On a serious note, we did not live together before we got married. I lived on my own, with a roommate, for 3 years before we got engaged. He lived at home. I think being on my own for a while helped me adjust to living with him and I'm grateful that I had that experience. Being on my own also helped me with managing my money better. I had to struggle at times to get by and had to learn to stop blowing my money on stupid things (make-up, music, etc.). I think if I didn't have that experience on my own first I would have a harder time with money management now. He, on the other hand, was used to spending his money as he wished. Cutting back has been a big adjustment for him but I think we balance each other out.

The one thing I can say is the absolute hardest for me is alone time. Sometimes I just like to be alone - close the door, do not bother, I don't want to talk to anyone kind of alone. He is not like that. He grew up in a family that would always sit in the same room and watch TV together. My family, while very close to each other, was always off doing there own thing. I think he takes it too personal when I need my space.

So if you have not lived together, there will be little things that will take getting use. For us, the first year was an adjustment. Even though we were together 6 yrs before we got married, we spent alot of time together and had been thru alot, it was the expectation of the how the daily routine of living together works took some getting use to. I think it is a natural thing to go thru and just as long as you learn to COMPROMISE you will be fine.

Jenn, Suzanne...LOL...

The other day I walked by some kids playing ball in the street. When I went to cross, one of the kids yelled to his friends-'watch out, let the lady cross'

I turned around to see who they were talking about. It was ME!

Now, I consider myself a lady, but it sounds so old coming for 10/12 year old kids.

Sorry for the hi-jack...

Like others, I lived with DH (2 years) before we were married, so no big surprises. I can't think of anything I don't like about marriage.

OK, here's one...I don't like sharing the remote!

I think you are right Lisa. Thanks lady

In-Laws!!

I'm kidding, of course!

I LOVE being married too. I guess the only complaint is having a MORTGAGE payment

-inlaws have been getting on my last nerve
-SILs drive me nuts too
-splitting holidays

We didn't live together before the wedding, but dated for almost 8 years. I was concerned about the adjustment period after moving in after the wedding, but it has been incredible. I really have no complaints and am so much happier living together than not living together. I still get excited coming home and knowing he's coming home with me! That weird adjustment period never happened (thankfully!). We actually get along better now than we did before because a lot of our fights were about spending time together. Now I know that if I go out with my friends or he goes out with his, I'm still going to see him! We don't have those fights anymore.

But the taxes part does stink!

Suzanne Dating other men!!!

We also lived together so it is smooth sailing also!!! I love being married to him and with my morning sickness 24/7 he takes even better care of me.

I had to add to this one...
-In-laws- especially around the holidays.
-Double the laundry!


BUT we have his and her remotes- we would argue over who had the remote last, etc....so we bought another universal remote for the TV. And- if he changes something I'm watching...I change what he wants to watch. All is fair for control of the TV!

We did not live together before marriage - we both lived at home with the folks to save money. We also had dated about 7 years when we were engaged.

We found the adjustment period to be a little difficult. The first few months were awful. When I read Stef's post about their first year living together, it made me feel a lot better that we had some rough periods too. We just had to learn how to live with each other and how we each do things. Yes, we spent lots of time together, and even went on a couple of vacations together, but it's not the same as living together and seeing all the day to day things a person does.

8 months later, and I think we have ironed out most, if not all, the kinks. It takes patience and lots of talking.

I love being married and knowing that he's going to be home when I get home, and that even if I don't see him at all during the day, I'll still get to snuggle up to him at night in bed.

First off, I have to say that I love my husband and our marriage very much, but you asked, so I'd have to say:

--> Family-splitting holidays ... someone is always not happy - especially that his parents are divorced.

--> Feeling more responsiblity in cooking and cleaning - I always feel bad if I don't have something on the table or if I haven't thought about dinner! He is a bit neater than I am too.

--> Ironing .... ugh - I don't mind the double laundry but I HATE ironing pants and shirts.

--> Finances ... he is the FINANCE guru and doesn't care where and what I spend on, but I feel like I have to justify why, whereas before, I just had to deal with my own conscience.

Edited to say: We were able to so call 'live' together during our engagement. Technically, I lived with my parents, but stayed at his apartment 7 nights a week! So, that adjustment was made before we were married.

Even though I've listed a little laundry list of what I hate, they are all minor things that are more idiosyncrasies vs. major problems. We've had a great first year - being married is wonderful, as long as it's to the right one!!!