I HAVE TO GET MARRIED AGAIN!

So as most of you know, I'm Jewish and Franky is Catholic. We have a ketubah from our wedding and Franky wanted the marriage to be recognized in the Catholic Church (we also heard from a few people that we can't Christen our children if we don't have a marriage blessed by the Catholic Church.

Well I was told that we needed a validation/dispencation from the Catholic Church after the wedding. APPARENTLY that is wrong, it's supposed to be BEFORE the wedding. Now that we are married already, we have to have a marriage within the Catholic Church. I spoke to the priest and he was really nice and explained this all. We meet with him on Thursday to discuss further details and go over what we really need to do.

We're probably just do a small ceremony with our immediate family. I can't imagine getting married again to Franky (even if we're already married) without our parents and sisters there. I'll probably by like a David's Bridal $99 dress or something from Macy's to wear. My dad sounded excited, my mom was not so thrilled (now she wants a rabbi to do another wedding ), Franky sounded excited. I'll tell the in laws Wednesday when we see them.

I just wish my mom wasn't so mean about it!!!!!

Oh Mom... If it makes you feel any better, my Mom would be the EXACT same about it. Like, to the T.

Try and explain to her that it's FOR the Catholic church, NYS recognizes the marriage and that's the most important, this is just a formality!

I hope Mom gets over it.

But you can get married again! That's pretty cool! Get an awesome/cool dress!

Thanks Becca! My dad is going to talk to her and try to explain it better. He was all like 'i won't pay for another wedding but I'll show up in a suit' and she was all 'I'm not going to cry this time' and 'are we going to a rabbi's study afterwards'.

Is it wrong I'm a little excited to look for a cute, COMFORTABLE dress?!?!?!? My friends already planning to shorten her bridesmaids dress...I had to tell her to SLOW DOWN!!!! Probably only family...

It'll be fun

It is your decision to do this....your mom needs to understand

OHHHH this is really exciting!!!

My mom would pull the same thing (if there was a difference in religion) but either way, you are MARRIED!!!!! Like you said, its a formality for you guys to do what you want to do with YOUR children - something YOU both agreed upon.

Mom will get there I am sure.

YAY for a 2nd wedding

Thanks girls!

My older sister also messaged back 'o great', I said 'sarcasm' she said 'yup'. The excitement has faded. I'm a little upset they aren't a little excited about it, even if we've done this already. I want to cry right now. I thought it would be fun and a nice intimate way of getting married since we had a 220 person wedding last time.

I just wanted our parents and siblings there and responses so far:

Dad: I'm not paying but I'll show up and I'll wear a suit.
Mom: Are we going to the rabbis study afterwards to get that done?...Just so you know I'm not going to cry this time
Younger Sister: Just tell me when I have to take off of work I guess
Older Sister: O great

I can already hear the inlaws:
MIL: OMG! This is great! we have to do this and this and this and this (blowing it all our of proportion and then DH gets fed up and cancels the small, special ceremony)

FIL: W*T*F!!!! I'm not going to this...ugh!

SIL & BIL: This is retarded!

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Thanks girls!

My older sister also messaged back 'o great', I said 'sarcasm' she said 'yup'. The excitement has faded. I'm a little upset they aren't a little excited about it, even if we've done this already. I want to cry right now. I thought it would be fun and a nice intimate way of getting married since we had a 220 person wedding last time.

I just wanted our parents and siblings there and responses so far:

Dad: I'm not paying but I'll show up and I'll wear a suit.
Mom: Are we going to the rabbis study afterwards to get that done?...Just so you know I'm not going to cry this time
Younger Sister: Just tell me when I have to take off of work I guess
Older Sister: O great

I can already hear the inlaws:
MIL: OMG! This is great! we have to do this and this and this and this (blowing it all our of proportion and then DH gets fed up and cancels the small, special ceremony)

FIL: W*T*F!!!! I'm not going to this...ugh!

SIL & BIL: This is retarded!

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arg that doesnt sound great

i know you said above you cant imagine them not being there - but to save you and DH from the craziness and being upset, maybe you should just have it be the 2 of you.

Just something to consider - it hasnt even been planned and it seems there is already this dark cloud over it for you.

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Thanks girls!

My older sister also messaged back 'o great', I said 'sarcasm' she said 'yup'. The excitement has faded. I'm a little upset they aren't a little excited about it, even if we've done this already. I want to cry right now. I thought it would be fun and a nice intimate way of getting married since we had a 220 person wedding last time.

I just wanted our parents and siblings there and responses so far:

Dad: I'm not paying but I'll show up and I'll wear a suit.
Mom: Are we going to the rabbis study afterwards to get that done?...Just so you know I'm not going to cry this time
Younger Sister: Just tell me when I have to take off of work I guess
Older Sister: O great

I can already hear the inlaws:
MIL: OMG! This is great! we have to do this and this and this and this (blowing it all our of proportion and then DH gets fed up and cancels the small, special ceremony)

FIL: W*T*F!!!! I'm not going to this...ugh!

SIL & BIL: This is retarded!

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arg that doesnt sound great

i know you said above you cant imagine them not being there - but to save you and DH from the craziness and being upset, maybe you should just have it be the 2 of you.

Just something to consider - it hasnt even been planned and it seems there is already this dark cloud over it for you.

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Yeah, I would suggest that but probably not an option. My MIL would come anyway! She's just going to drive me insane because she'll make this 'her wedding' since it's a Catholic one and I'm Jewish and she wasn't involved too much in the other one (which she was but she forgets EVERYTHING I tell her).

PLUS, I think we might need witnesses. I'm leaving it up to DH. Whatever he wants but I know family will be there.

Lucky girl!!! I wish we could get married again!

That's super sweet!

I know a couple who did this - the wife just wore a simple white gown (not even a wedding dress really), and only the parents and siblings were there. It was just all about the ceremony and they all went out to dinner afterwards.

Don't let your mom get too crazy about it. After all, it is about the church recognizing it - you already HAVE a wedding date, papers signed, the whole deal, so hopefully she'll come to understand the rationale behind it!


**ETA - to save yourself some trouble, you might just want to ask your best man and MOH to be your witnesses, and just savor the moment for you and your DH... good luck & enjoy it

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Posted by Linzee636

That's super sweet!

I know a couple who did this - the wife just wore a simple white gown (not even a wedding dress really), and only the parents and siblings were there. It was just all about the ceremony and they all went out to dinner afterwards.

Don't let your mom get too crazy about it. After all, it is about the church recognizing it - you already HAVE a wedding date, papers signed, the whole deal, so hopefully she'll come to understand the rationale behind it!


**ETA - to save yourself some trouble, you might just want to ask your best man and MOH to be your witnesses, and just savor the moment for you and your DH... good luck & enjoy it

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Thank you for this and thank you girls!

We discussed it last night. My sister and SIL were my maid and matron of honor. Our best man was actually a terrible best man and we don't want him showing up with his devil children so we're thinking of just having SIL and BIL sign the documents. We def want our parents and siblings there and then go out to a nice dinner afterwards, exactly what you said.

Last night we decided that this time this wedding was about us. We don't care what people think or say. We're going to get married in a church, for our future children and for DH's piece of mind. I'm going to buy a simple white dress and DH will wear a suit. I'm thinking flower in my hair just to look nice but we'll see. My MIL actually said 'that's absolutely ridiculous' and SIL thought 'that's kinda cool' so I was surprised all around.

We'll see what the priest has to say and with everything else going on we might have to wait 2 months for this to actually happen (with FIL's surgery and now DH's great uncle is dying and our move). I'll keep you girls updated!

Last night we decided that this time this wedding was about us. We don't care what people think or say. We're going to get married in a church, for our future children and for DH's piece of mind. I'm going to buy a simple white dress and DH will wear a suit. I'm thinking flower in my hair just to look nice but we'll see. My MIL actually said 'that's absolutely ridiculous' and SIL thought 'that's kinda cool' so I was surprised all around.

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I actually have to do this same exact thing! i was brought up luthern and he is catholic but for the same reasons we are eventually planning on having a small ceremony at a church to be recognized!

im sorry about some of the responses you are getting from your family, as Im sure i will be dealing with some of the same feelings but you are right, this is about you and your husband fulfilling formalities that your family may or may not share, but keep your head up bc its about you and your husband!!!

(i may need your advice down the road.. lol and i totally plan on wearing a simple white summer dress with a flower!!!!!)

Linda- this is so cool that you are doing this! The hell with what everyone else thinks about it. Do what you and Franky want - like you said this is for you, DH and your future children. Not for anyone else!


ETA- I dont know how true it is that you cant baptise your children in the catholic church if its not recognized by them.
My brother is Catholic and my SIL is Mormon they were never married in the church but both kids were baptised in the church. My neice has made 1st communion and is getting ready for confirmation in Sept.

This is sooooo cool ... I sooooo wish I could get married AGAIN ... and I've only been married for 3 months! lol .... ur mom will get over it ... think about how cool it is to marry the same man AGAIN

I think that this is really sweet and really cool! Don't let anyone bother you about it.

that sucks how people are reacting but it's so awesome that you have to get married again!!! i would love to