Doggie Style
Literally. Let me preface this by saying at the time I found this in no way shape or form funny. But now I can laugh and I just had to share this. We seem to always have something crazy happen right before we go away. Please note, this is a little gross and very crazy, so read on at your own risk.
I have two dogs- a pit bull named Lucy and a collie mix named Irwin. Irwin is fixed and Lucy is not. We never really intended to keep her, yet here we are 3 years later. And it's expensive to fix large breed dogs unless you go to one of the mobile vet units. Anyway, I digress. Lucy is obviously going into heat. We know the signs- they get more playful and rambunctious and eventually Irwin starts chasing Lucy around the house crying and humping her head. But it's only ever been innocent fun.
Not tonight.
Tonight, my girl Lucy is... well... loose? I was in the bathroom and I hear them being rowdy in the next room. I finish up and head out to separate them... but I find this impossible. Somehow, the dogs were standing side by side but were both moving together and wouldn't back away from each other. I pulled one and the other followed. Irwin had his leg lifted up and draped over Lucy's back in an odd way. I still couldn't figure out what was up, but now it was obvious that Irwin and Lucy were also trying their hardest to separate themselves to no avail. Irwin's penis was stuck in Lucy's vagina. And when I say stuck I mean STUCK. I was afraid she was going to hurt him, mostly his leg and also his thingy. lol! Which she kinda did, she freaked out after awhile and ran through the dining room with Irwin still attached and whimpering pathetically. Finally, she wrapped herself around the table leg and circled around it until Irwin couldn't follow and they were forced apart, THANK GOD. I called Dan up FRANTIC and the first thing I said was 'Please, don't laugh.' In all fairness, he didn't. He ran home.![]()
Anyway, both dogs are fine. In fact, they seem smugly satisfied.![]()
So, Lucy lost her v-card today and her momma really needs a vacation now. ![]()
I have two dogs- a pit bull named Lucy and a collie mix named Irwin. Irwin is fixed and Lucy is not. We never really intended to keep her, yet here we are 3 years later. And it's expensive to fix large breed dogs unless you go to one of the mobile vet units. Anyway, I digress. Lucy is obviously going into heat. We know the signs- they get more playful and rambunctious and eventually Irwin starts chasing Lucy around the house crying and humping her head. But it's only ever been innocent fun.
Not tonight.
Tonight, my girl Lucy is... well... loose? I was in the bathroom and I hear them being rowdy in the next room. I finish up and head out to separate them... but I find this impossible. Somehow, the dogs were standing side by side but were both moving together and wouldn't back away from each other. I pulled one and the other followed. Irwin had his leg lifted up and draped over Lucy's back in an odd way. I still couldn't figure out what was up, but now it was obvious that Irwin and Lucy were also trying their hardest to separate themselves to no avail. Irwin's penis was stuck in Lucy's vagina. And when I say stuck I mean STUCK. I was afraid she was going to hurt him, mostly his leg and also his thingy. lol! Which she kinda did, she freaked out after awhile and ran through the dining room with Irwin still attached and whimpering pathetically. Finally, she wrapped herself around the table leg and circled around it until Irwin couldn't follow and they were forced apart, THANK GOD. I called Dan up FRANTIC and the first thing I said was 'Please, don't laugh.' In all fairness, he didn't. He ran home.
Anyway, both dogs are fine. In fact, they seem smugly satisfied.
